Monday, April 9, 2012

Since I last wrote I've been pretty busy.  I have started to work a third job on the weekends to supplement our income to save up for IVF.  For at least for a few months, I'll be working 6 days a week.  I'm alternating weekends between 2 different part time physical therapy jobs.  Needless to say I don't particularly enjoy working this much and don't particularly like the type of job I do on the weekends.  Normally my "9 to 5" job is in outpatient therapy, however one of the weekend jobs involves working in a SNF unit...kind of like a short term nursing home.  It's not the type of work I enjoy and in fact would normally go to any lengths to avoid it.  It's what I must do though to reach our goal quicker.  

In the meantime, I've experienced first hand what Murphy's law is all about.  Either that or God is seriously messing with me.  I got an extra job to make for money for a baby, but my car which was almost 10 years old decided to die on me.  For those of you we spoke to recently, you know we tried everything in our power to revive the darn thing.  I learned how to change a radiator, not once but THREE times.  In the end, it was taken to a garage and determined to be "unfixable".  So now all that extra money I planned on putting towards a baby must go to car payments.  When it rains it pours.  Besides having a reliable new car, I'm no better off then when I started.  

As you know from my last blog, Chris and I have not received any treatments this past month.  We were back to trying for a baby like any normal couples do...without the help of 15 different people, drugs, etc...  Like usual, I tried to wait but couldn't.  I broke down (again) and took a pregnancy test.  I don't know why I do this to myself but the suspense of not knowing is dreadful.  For us getting pregnant isn't easy and involves alot of heartache and hard work.  I need to know as soon as I can if all our efforts payed off.  Each and every time, despite months and months of disappointments, I am hopeful.  

The test was negative.  

Now the wait begins until I can go back to the doctor (probably this week sometime) for initial bloodwork and ultrasounds.  It was so nice to have a month off.   Part of me really thought this would be our month and we'd be successful without help.  Now I'm back to getting drugged up with hormones, stuck with needles, having my privacy invaded and being poked and prodded like a lab rat.  I know it's all for the greater good, but I don't have to like it.  If the next few IUIs fail I am hopeful we can afford one cycle of IVF by the end of the year (maybe late fall).  Even with $15,000 and all the hoping and praying, we still aren't guaranteed anything.  

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