IVF #2 officially kicked off today.  It's a bit sooner than we anticipated but I'm at the mercy of mother nature.  I went for baseline ultrasounds and everything is normal and looking good.  In 2 weeks I have to donate 14 vials of blood so they can make a serum to be used for our co culture.  Being a certified needle-phob, I'm not exactly looking forward to it....then again I'm not looking forward to any of this.  Unlike most of you, I can't get pregnant for free or painfree.  It was painful writing out that five digit check...it's even harder the second time around.  It's still incredibly difficult for me to not become angry at those who make having a baby seem so easy.

This round of IVF we are trying co-culture.  Instead of growing our embryos on the medium in the petri dish they normally use, they are going to harvest and grow my endometrial (uterine) cells.  The theory is that this will provide a more natural environment for the embryos to grow on top of....the better the embryo, the more of a chance I have of becoming pregnant.  Long gone are the simple days of having sex to get pregnant.  It's the norm for us now to associate petri dishes and uncomfortable procedures with making a family...talk about a total mood killer.   Instead of one man to make a baby, I have a whole team of them (and a few women).  Science is amazing....it'll even be more amazing if this actually works this time. In about 3 weeks, I will have a biopsy to collect some uterine cells.  Biopsies are never pleasant, especially when you're awake, but it's minor compared to the rest of it.  Somehow they use my collected blood and uterine cells and grow them until time of egg retrieval.  The whole IVF process this time will take several weeks, but at least the hormone injections won't be for another month.

As of now, I'm as ready as I'll ever be.  We didn't exactly hit our financial goal and had to put some of our IVF on charge....nothing like charging a baby on a credit card.  This isn't exactly how I envisioned being in debt.  Hopefully it will work this time as I can't imagine paying monthly installments for something we don't have.  Each bill, I'd be reminded what happened....or didn't happen.  I'd much rather be saving my money for future baby-gear, day care, etc.....but this is my reality right now.  For those of you who had kids the easy way....be thankful.  Chris and I are doing our best at holding up emotionally.  The past 6 months have by far been the hardest few months or our lives...we have good and bad days but are learning to navigate through this.  I anticipate the next few months could even be harder depending on our outcome.  Due to alot of reasons, mostly financial, we doubt there is another IVF in our future.  So much of our lives and happiness is riding on this.  I'd be lying if I didn't say I am a nervous wreck inside!