TESTS TESTS AND MORE TESTS

What's in store for me today....?  I have a few hours of time to pass waiting to have my second hysteroscopy.  I've been up half the night either anticipating it or having nightmares about it.   I can't wait until it's all over (I also can't wait to eat since I'm not allow to until afterwards).  14 months ago, we met with our reproductive endocrinologist for the first time.  It's hard to imagine it's been that long when some things seem just like yesterday.  One of my initial diagnostic tests was a hysteroscopy.  Most people probably have never heard of this procedure and the majority of women will luckily never have it performed.  I went into the test a bit blind, not something I usually do.  I tend to do more research.  However, for whatever reason I didn't this time.  I was told the procedure was "routine" and basically not a big deal (maybe it's routine for a surgical team, but not the average Joe).  I remember being told that I could take some Advil prior to the procedure to cut back on any pain I may experience.  I'm not sure why but pain never crossed my mind....I was so wrapped up in finding a diagnosis.  Once I arrived at the surgical center things were put into more perspective.  I remember signing a consent form that discussed all these horrible side effects, etc... I started to become a bit more anxious when I saw people walking around in surgical scrubs and even more when I was asked to change into a gown and hat.  I was wheeled into the OR room and nearly had a panic attack.  I've been in the OR before but was usually drugged up on some kind of anesthetic so I don't remember much.  Being awake the images of these "things" and "tools" really flooded my mind.  I was horrified because I saw so many weird gadgets and I didn't know WHAT they were used for.  Sometimes the unknown is worse because your imagination goes wild.  I felt like I'd just been wheeled into a medieval torture room or was in the movie Hostel.  

I was not given any pain medication, anesthesia, or sedation.  I was wide awake the entire time, literally strapped to a table with 2 legs straps on each leg and and abdominal strap or two (I can't remember)...all I can remember is that I couldn't move.  The nurses and doctors were buzzing around and I remember being scared and confused about what was happening.  They gave me very general instructions of what was going on, however I was writhing in so much pain that I could't hear or process a damn thing.  I remember that a male nurse had to physically hold me down.  Even though I was only in there about 10 to 15 minutes, it seemed like an eternity.  I don't get it....why do they give anesthesia for a colonoscopy and an endoscopy and every other kind of -scopy but not this?  I was outraged I wasn't even given the option....had I known it was that horrid I would have signed up despite all the consequences of anesthesia.  I later (a bit too late ) found out I could have had anesthesia but they discourage it due to side effects of anesthesia, you need someone to drive you home, the procedure is usually brief, and it doesn't always hurt some women.  Absolutely absurd for the ones it does....since then I have read it's more painful than natural childbirth.  The good news is that if I ever do get pregnant, I can tell you I CANNOT handle that and want as many drugs as possible.  I've had a few wrist surgeries in the past and even had surgery for appendicitis but this pain was dull in comparison.

I'm sure the above pictures give you an idea of what I'm talking about. WHO would want that inside of them....awake?  It friggin hurts!!  It's bad enough being invaded with internal ultrasounds, uterine biopsies, and exams but this doesn't come close.  Anyways, my point is this:  do your research and find out what you are in for and what your options are.  I wish I had.  Unfortunately since it's been so long since my last hysteroscope, I have the pleasure of doing it all over again today.  All I can say is thank god for drugs and I hope they work well.