It's been a few weeks since our failed IVF attempt. We put all of our blood, sweat and tears (literally) into it....not to mention ALL of our savings. We stopped doing many of the things we liked to do like vacationing, and even simpler things like buying coffee in the morning, going to dinner with friends or doing projects around our house. Most people our age are using their money for family vacations, retirement, or deciding what kind of kitchen countertop they'd like to have. Not us. We just want a family...something most people completely take for granted. We still don't think it's fair that most people do this for free and that mother nature seems to have shafted us. Getting pregnant and having a baby seems so simple, but not for us. It no longer becomes simple when you've been trying for years and end up with nothing but medical bills and heartbreak.
For the past few weeks Chris and I have been racking our brains HOW we'd come with the money (again) for another try of having a family. We are already working full time and I even have an extra job. We watch every penny we spend and it STILL took a year for us to come up with the money for our last IVF cycle. Infertility is classified by the CDC as a disease and a disability, yet the government does not mandate that insurance companies cover treatment. I guess they think it's cheaper to cover psychological counseling instead....because that's where many of us end up due to the stress it causes. After alot of contemplation and discussion with a few close friends and family, we have decided to create a donation fund. Who likes asking for money? We definitely don't. I pride myself in being self-sufficient and have gone out of my way to be responsible, get an education and a decent job. However, time is not on our side and waiting another year to try IVF again would decrease our chances dramatically. For females like myself, in the mid thirties, who already have fertility problems, fertility decreases as we age. Not fair, but true. We know that by opening ourselves up to basically asking for monetary support, we also open ourselves up to judgement. We're ok with that because we know the struggles we've been through. People do fundraisers for other diseases like heart disease, ALS, etc. They didn't choose to have their disease. Neither did we. But they CAN choose to have treatment, just as we are choosing to do. Infertility is our disease whether we like it or not and we are making the choice to do something about it. If you were diagnosed with cancer or a disease like diabetes and chose not to do anything about it, I'm sure your friends would be pounding down your door and ask why you aren't trying??!!!! Why is this any different? Most people will never realize the depth of infertility and may pass judgements, however we can assure you it's no joking matter. It has forever changed our lives in the here and now and will also change our future. We may have no choice whether or not we have a family, but we can at least try. If we are judged for having a fundraiser to help us afford a family, then I think judgement needs to be passed on fundraisers for things like girlscouts, fundraisers for sports teams, schools and playgrounds, and even fundraisers to help a family after a fire.... These are all great causes too so how is ours any different? It's everyone's choice to donate or not and we will not pass judgement however will truly be grateful to anyone who can help.